News

In a mindless fit of fray
Through the malls we go

Rushing all the way.

Horns on Hondas blast

We have to get home fast!

What fun it is to bake and wrap

Thank God it doesn’t last!!

Jingled nerves, jingled nerves, jingled all the way…

Perhaps cheery holiday carols don’t quite capture the essence of your holiday season. Maybe when you hear the words “peace on earth” at this time of year, it feels more like a cruel joke. If you’re like many people, the peace comes only after it’s all over.

The holidays are a time of parties, shopping, entertaining, religious observations, expectations, crowds, clutter, family gatherings, decorating, roller coaster emotions and, inevitably, stress. But with a little planning and creativity, the holidays don’t have to be so stressful. Here are some ideas for bringing a little peace and renewal to your holiday season.

Plan Ahead and Prioritize

Sit down with your family and come up with a list of ideas on how you would like to spend the holidays. Decide which ideas would be the most stressful in terms of cost, time, and energy and cross them off your list. Choose the things that you enjoy and can accomplish realistically. Prioritize the events that matter most to you and your family, and set a budget.

Clarify Your Values

Reflect on the way you spend the holidays. What is most important to you—spending more money on your loved ones or spending more time with them? Have you bought into the “love-equals-money” myth? Do perfectionism and competitive gift giving drive you? Do you take the time to experience joy and the true meaning of the season?

What other ways could you show your love? Do you enjoy shopping or is it a hassle each year? Is gift giving really meaningful or do you end up with lots of clutter and gifts that you don’t really need? What, if anything, would you like to change about how you celebrate the holidays? Answering these and other questions can help to clarify your values for the holiday season.

Simplify

Here are some tips to simplify your holiday challenges:

If you dislike traffic jams, crowded shopping malls and parking lots, and waiting in long lines, do your holiday shopping well before the holiday season or shop from a catalogue or on the Internet.

Wrap your presents early.

Cut back on your baking. Don’t bake 10 different types of cookies. Make your goodies ahead of time and freeze them so you’ll have less to do during busy times. Or maybe try organizing a cookie exchange with your family and friends if you’re still looking for dessert variety.

Take care of several errands in one trip, rather than making multiple trips.

Consider drawing names rather than exchanging gifts with all your family members and friends.

Limit the number of social events you host or attend.

Delegate tasks to family members. Don’t feel that you must be responsible for everything.

Take Care of Your Health

You’ll be at your best and more resistant to stress and infections if you take good care of your health. Here are some suggestions:

Get plenty of sleep each night (at least 7 hours).

Exercise regularly.

Eat a well-balanced diet. It’s okay to have some goodies at a party, but a few extra calories here and there can add up to holiday weight gain—slowing you down.

Limit alcohol intake. Alcohol is a depressant and can slow you down and interfere with your sleep.

Take time to unwind. Take a hot bath or find a quiet place to enjoy some time alone each day. Even a few minutes can make a difference.

Stick to your routine as much as is possible.

Don’t Forget the Joy

Try to celebrate the holidays in new and creative ways. Remember that you’re not a “human doing” but a human being! Enjoy the specialness of each person and the time you can spend just being together. Look for the simple joys—go for a walk around the neighborhood to look at holiday decorations, play games, sing, or talk to family and friends you are spending time with.

Adjust Your Expectations

We get a lot of messages about how things should be at the holidays. We’ve been programmed to believe that the holidays are a time of great joy, love, and togetherness. But the truth is, many people are grieving the loss of a loved one, coping with a serious illness, fighting with family, going through a divorce, experiencing financial troubles, or feeling lonely and unloved. And the very expectation of holiday cheer can actually add to their misery and stress. In fact sadness is so common during the holidays that you’ve probably heard the term “holiday blues.”

One way to reduce stress and the holiday blues is to keep your expectations realistic. Things likely won’t be perfect, no matter how hard you try. There may be disappointments, arguments, and frustrations, as well as excitement and joy. Try to go with the flow and don’t expect perfection.

If you’re grieving a loss or feeling sad and lonely, accept these feelings. Don’t feel guilty about your sadness or try to force yourself to be happy just because it’s the holiday season. If this is a difficult time for you, adopt a nurturing attitude toward yourself. Seek support from family, friends, or a counselor. If the holidays are a lonely time for you, find ways to increase your social support or consider volunteering your services to those in need. By helping someone else feel better, you’ll feel better. And what better way to celebrate the message of the season?

by Amy Scholten, MPH

RESOURCE:

American Psychological Association

http://www.psych.org

SOURCES:

University of Maryland Web site, University of Maryland Medical News, 2001.

Available at: http://www.umm.edu

Accessed December 3, 2002

Cornell University Website, Weil Cornell Psychiatrist Offers Advice for Reducing Holiday Stress, 1999.

Available at: http://www.ny-cornell.org

Accessed December 3, 2002